


Guess I'm a quitter

by yunliu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Drunken Confessions, Happy Ending, I nearly wrote a whole story for this, M/M, Making Up, Post-Break Up, Two Shot, subtle luqi ahahahahha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:29:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunliu/pseuds/yunliu
Summary: For the first time since their break up two months ago, an intoxicated  Jaemin calls Renjun to tell him he loves him.(A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 15
Kudos: 76





	1. Renjun

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago, and I thought it was good, and wrote a lot more, but decided it's better like this...

It was around two 'o clock in the morning when Renjun's phone rang, the familiar ringtone Dream Launch suddenly sounding very unpleasant to his ears. This was one of the few nights he couldn't sleep, so it didn't bother him that much. But his legs felt extra heavy. He didn't want to move.

Again, his phone rang. Renjun shut his eyes, thinking that if he squeezed his eyelids hard enough his phone would shut up. 

Maybe it's important. He crawled over, not bothering to check the contact. "Hello?" 

"Hi, is this..." Slight fumbling. This was an unfamiliar voice. "Jaemin Na's boyfriend?" Renjun furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Not at the moment." He winced, the sound of his own voice displeasing to his ears. 

"Listen, I'm the one who hosted this party. And I'm trying to get everyone out of the house. I don't know who this guy is, but he's drunk out of his mind. He saved you with a lot of hearts, and what I guess must be a nickname. I took a chance. Can you come pick him up, though?" Her tone was slightly apologetic. 

Renjun sighed deeply, already pulling on his pants. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes." 

...

When Renjun reaches the door, he recognises the pair of shoes outside. It's that pair of slippers that Xuxi always wears in the morning, when the two meet at the coffeeshop. It's accompanied by a much smaller black pair of slippers. Was this Xuxi's house? But he's never been here before...

A girl with long hair lets him in. "Are you the guy coming to pick him up?" Her voice is the same deep one he had heard over the phone. Renjun nods, silently cursing Jaemin's name in his mind. If he was him, he'd never let that happen to him. That would be too embarrassing to live down. 

Still drowsy, he stood awkwardly in the living room while she scurries back into the house. After a moment, the girl returned carrying Jaemin in her arms as if he was just a light weight. (Renjun didn't bother to question it.)

"Okay, wow," Renjun murmured to himself. Jaemin was a mess. He was emaciated, dark circles rung around his eyes, a heady pink blush spread across his cheeks. Jaemin did not get drunk easily. In fact, he had a reputation for staying sober. How much did he drink, exactly? Jaemin was completely out, stinking like alcohol. Ew.

Renjun tried to get him onto his back, but the younger kept stumbling, murmuring something. The girl frowned at this sight. He had dragged him halfway to the door when a much taller man appeared, wearing his pyjamas. It was Yukhei, blearily wiping sleep from his eyes. 

Renjun looked up at him questioningly. Since when had Yukhei lived here? That girl must have been his girlfriend. "I'll help you," he said, picking Jaemin up. Despite his confusion, Renjun chose not to ask about it, because he could do it another day. 

They got into the car. "Hey, where's your keys," Renjun asked, more to himself. And then he realised. He would have to take him back to his place. Just thinking about the awkwardness he'd have to deal with in the morning made him cringe. 

He managed to get him up to his apartment with some effort. By the time they reached the short hand of his clock was already hit three. Renjun muttered curses under his breath all the while. Finally, he plonked Jaemin onto his bed without resistance. 

In his drunken state, he awoke. Renjun was barely able to make out his shape in the varying shades of darkness. "Where's, where's my phone?" Jaemin croaked. He reached out to his left where he would he leave his phone on his bedside table when he came over. Quietly Renjun could feel his heart clench. "I...need to call Junnie." 

Suddenly, Jaemin's face is harshly illuminated by the white bright light of his screen. It trilled for a little while like a troubled heartbeat in this sleepless night. Before long Renjun's phone begun ringing too. 

Renjun picked up his phone. "Hello?" His voice is scratchy and stretched thin. 

"Hi, baby." Jaemin giggled, closing his eyes and relaxing on the bed. All the while, Renjun is sitting there right next to him phone to his ear, quiet. His words begin to slur together. "I w-wanna let you know that I love you. Do y-you love me too?" 

A lump forms in his throat, sadness prickling in his eyes. "I love you too." Renjun whispered back, reaching a delicate hand to wipe away the incoming tears. Even while drunk, he thought of him. Those times when he had called him momentarily must have been out of habit. 

He missed Jaemin a lot more than he had thought, huh?

"Hey, I love you m-more. Good night." The younger hung up, and buried his face in his cushion. 

Crawling forward, Renjun pressed his lips to his cheek. "Good night." The smell of alcohol didn't let up, but seeing Jaemin there so restful made it sweeter. 


	2. Jaemin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin is in Renjun's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this a lot faster than expected hahahahaha 😉 I should have waited longer to post this but I cant contain my excitement.

Although he had only one eyelid slightly open, sunlight cut through like a knife and made him flinch. Jaemin groaned. Everything ached. It was as if a bell was rocking in his head, knocking his skull with every oscillation. The man tossed the sheets over his head to avoid the morning sun. 

A whiff of fresh detergent entered his nose. Strange. He hadn't done laundry in a week. Sighing, he snuggled deeper under the covers. The room was ice cold. He had probably cranked the air conditioning up last night because of the unbearable summer heat. 

Jaemin's phone let out a ding. He dug his hand around to find it, seeing a notification from his Gmail and unlocked it to read the whole thing. It was from his employer, Taeil. 

_'Don't come to work today. your boyfriend messaged me from his number and told me you were feeling ill. Rest well okay? You've so been down these days and I can't help but worry about you.'_

Jaemin jolted up at the sight, forgetting about the pains he bore. He was in Renjun's house! No wonder his bed seemed smaller then usual. The last time he had slept in Renjun's bed was a good two months ago. Not that he was counting, though. He just took note of these sorts of things. His skin tight jeans he was wearing last night were folded neatly on Renjun's cupboard. Jaemin's hands flew to his chest to touch a soft sweater instead of his thin cotton shirt. 

Did Renjun dress him? How did he even end up here? He could only remember him drifting in and out of sleep on Xuxi's couch.

Jaemin crawled out of bed. Hesitating, he opened the door. Renjun could be in the living room. He didn't have the capacity to deal with his ex right now and open fresh wounds. 

The coast was clear. Slowly, he walked into the kitchen, away from the safety of the bedroom. The table had a take out bowl on it, contents obscured by a plastic lid. Once he removed it, the rich smell of broth hit him. His stomach rumbled. It was hangover soup. There was some warm rice in the rice cooker, enough for one person. 

Jaemin drew a hand over his mouth, tasting the stench of alcohol on his breath. He should probably brush his teeth. The bathroom still had his pink toothbrush he had left back when he started dating Renjun. It was still there. "It's inconvenient for me to keep bringing my toothbrush back and forth, just let me leave one here," he had argued. The sight of it was... Jaemin wasn't sure of what to think of it. Best not to think at all, he concluded. 

Once the soup was in his mouth, the fragrant taste numbed his mind. He finished everything without missing a beat. And then he washed up, feeling apologetic. He truly was a nuisance sometimes.

By this time, Renjun would have gone out to work. Although the breakup had killed him inside, Jaemin was relieved at not meeting him yet. But his loafers were left by the door, the very pair he always wore to work. Jaemin stared at his phone for a long time before deciding to call him. He had to resolve this, and apologise for whatever embarrassing crap he did the other day while intoxicated. He was an adult, for God's sake. He ought to be able to deal with his relationships probably. 

Jaemin was unsure if he should have this, but his phone started ringing. It was from Renjun. The splatter of heart emojis he had left behind his name appeared much more intimidating. Suddenly, his heart was pounding again. 

"Hello..?" The older started, voice as light as ever. Jaemin's nerves twisted up into a web, heart caught in the middle. He took a deep breath, then replied. 

"Um, hi." 

That's it. He can't do this. God, he thinks. This is your chance. Take me away now--

"Are you feeling better?" Renjun asked. "You were quite sick early this morning." He spoke as everything was normal, as if they hadn't broke up months ago over a single line of text.

"Yes. I'm...I'm sorry for troubling you. Unfortunately, I can't remember what happened yesterday. But I probably did something stupid." He let out a mirthless laugh. 

Renjun murmured something he couldn't hear. Jaemin probably wouldn't notice it if he wasn't listening carefully. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," Jaemin said. 

Another whisper. The older cleared his throat. "You didn't do anything stupid, Jaemin." The sincerity in his voice took him by surprise. Him saying Jaemin's name again, so familiarly, made a flower bloom in his lungs. 

"Where are you? I'm guessing you're at work now," Jaemin mused. There was no response for a while. 

"I-I'm not at work," Renjun replied, voice edging over. 

"Then where are you?" Getting up, Jaemin turned to the door, thinking about where Renjun normally placed his spare set of keys. 

"Nearby." It's too quick of a reply. 

"Why aren't you here?" Jaemin pressed his phone to his shoulder, looking through the set of keys for the right one. 

"I don't want to face you. I'm a coward, Jaemin." Renjun took in a sharp breath. His voice began trembling like a leaf, shaking even at the slightest hint of wind. "I've ran away, so scared that my heart would get broken -- over what, relationships that were so long ago! And I hurt you in the process, someone who had nothing to do with this. All you did was be good to me. I was so, so selfish." Renjun's sniffles are becoming louder, and Jaemin still can't open this damn door. "This is too late to say, but..."

"I love you, Jaemin."

Opening the gate, Jaemin finally got out. Renjun is outside, curling into himself, tears dripping down his pretty face. Yet he made no attempt to wipe them away. His phone is still in his hands. 

Jaemin bent down next to him, holding him close. Watery-eyed, he looked in the other direction. "Don't look at me. I don't deserve your care." Firmly, Jaemin placed his face in his hands and turned him around to himself again. 

"It's okay. We all make mistakes," Jaemin whispered, kissing a tear away from his cheek. Renjun let out a heaving sob, buried his face into his shoulder and cried, and cried, and cried. 

"I'm so stupid, you know that?" His words were barely able to be made out, a blur of shame and happiness. "If you take me back you'll have to deal with me again." 

But Jaemin just smiled, as if he was falling in love with him all over again. "I know. You told me, remember?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody pls tell me to stop writing angst ......... :'○

**Author's Note:**

> While you're out there drinkin', I'm just here thinkin'  
> 'Bout where I should've been  
> I've been lonely, mm, ah, yeah


End file.
